There are many things I wish were different about America, but one thing I’m very grateful for, is not being treated like an unwanted pariah for not being under 130 lbs.
Growing up in Asia, the beauty standard of a young adult woman was to be thin, preferably to the point of having a teenager’s body. You want to be frail so that everyone around you felt sorry for your weak ass, and some knight in shining armor would inadvertently come to your rescue if you in as far as slip from not having enough energy to stand firmly on the ground.
You want to avoid all fat, all carbs, and live on fiber and vegetables. You want to not eat, and if you do, dig your throat and remove all traces of sustenance that could be the reason your thighs are rubbing. You want to not drink so much liquids, not even water, because that could make you swole. You want to do it to the point of having a very long and lean silhouette, and sit with an arched back so that the hollows of your stomach can be concaved to show how thin your waist is from your side profile.
Being beautiful in Asia means you need to be a few things. You should appear more stupid than guys, show no expression (it’s all about the shy girl, unsure girl stealing looks), and you want to speak sweetly and softly. That is key. You want to be a damsel in distress, but make damn sure you are skinny enough. If you’re born thick, don’t bother with the theatrics because it won’t work unless you do it to a guy with questionable standards.
It’s easy enough to speak like you’re half-dead when you don’t eat, because you won’t have energy to speak when you’re starving. If you develop dark eye circles from malnutrition, don’t worry. You only need to slab on copious amounts of lightening loose powder to mask your lack of health, and use pink blush to give the illusion of great blood circulation. That is the Asian girl way.
Whatever you do, DO NOT GET ABOVE 130 lbs. If you do, be prepared for a lifetime of concerned and often times, hurtful remarks from guys, other women, your parents, relatives, non-relatives, EVERYBODY who knows your immediate family. Be prepared to never date a typical Chinese, Japanese, or Korean guy. Or face the abuse like a champ. You’re going to need a strong mind to weather the onslaught of unsolicited advice and random attacks. Some guys are not going to be nice to you.
Needless to say, as my weight has never been lower than 150 lbs since I was 13 years old, I didn’t have a great experience dealing with body issues growing up in the far east. Most people were decent and unassuming, but once a week, your shape, size, and weight will come up in conversation when you meet any of those people listed above.
NOT YOUR REAL FRIENDS THOUGH.
Your BFFs have your back, and they love you just the way you are.
I have spent half a lifetime of HELL listening to Asians tell me I need to lose weight like a broken record. My mother, a former beauty queen was in existential crisis for birthing a meatball. The Asian guys I dated liked my personality enough to want to date me, but ultimately couldn’t take the unbearable thickness of my being.
I’ve been told by a famous producer, that if only I would lose a bit of weight, my career in media would skyrocket. My thick girl stories of heartache are many, and as I don’t care to live in the past, I’ll spare you the gory details of how I got my battle scars.
Fast forward to present day. I am doing Crossfit. I have stopped starving myself, because I can’t flip tires without nutrients.
New International Version
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”
2 Chronicles 15:7
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