December was an intense month for me. I did however fit in walks and light jogging in the early mornings, and sometimes also some stray Crossfit sessions in the evenings.
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I experienced my first Crossfit-induced DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) that took a week to go away, doing my brother’s workout below:-
Warm-up: 10 inch worms, 10 arm rotations, 10 v tucks, 10 push ups, 10 squats, 10 lunges, 10 x 2 leg swings, 10 jumping jacks. Workout: 30 secs of 3kg arm thruster squats x 2, 30 secs leg lifts, 30 secs planking, 30 secs sit ups – 5 glorious SETS.
It hurt so much it felt like I climbed Mt. Kinabalu!
Did I lose any weight? Nope. Actually I gained some. But lost all of it back within a week after Christmas and am back on track.
Unexpected Scatological Experiences
I had a really weird week leading up to Christmas where I compulsively ate everything (even stuff I never touched when I was a ball), because I was lamenting about life’s shitty cards that could essentially steer my entire life in a new direction.
Later a friend noted that it was “emotional eating.”
What a scary experience that was. On the last Sunday leading to Christmas, I ate so much I couldn’t breathe I had to leave a children’s christmas party. It was so bad I couldn’t even prop my body straight and walked like I had osteoporosis.
In short, I was stressed out and grieving about the changes I didn’t want happen in my life. But life is life, and change it always will.
How I Dealt With It
In an effort to avoid from drowning, I buried myself in Joel Osteen sermons, bought 15 books, borrowed 5 and read/finished 10 of them. I read so much I began thinking maybe speed-reading was a talent I could develop with more research.
December was about how I realized I was putting the oxygen mask on everybody I loved without first putting one on myself first. It was a battle cry to practice radical self-love amidst my desire to be a blessing to others.
I was hanging on a thread, unsure about why giving had its limits. I felt emotionally exhausted. That one can give so much away that there’s nothing left for the self. I was burnt out from playing multiple roles to everybody I loved who had a lack of some sort; loneliness, aging, financial woes, depression, lack of love, and in the process, totally ignored my own needs.
I thought I was strong enough to fill the void for other people and still help make the world a better place.
Meanwhile, I had two visitors and made a short trip to Sandakan for the first time since I was 12 years old. I also caught a cold in the process, and was wedged in an unpleasant drama involving people whose issues do not involve me — while I was sick, run down, and on vacation while I was sick.
And to top it all off, I missed my flight and blew some more money trying to get home yesterday. But at this point, life’s ridiculous hammering had tipped me way over the frustration or anger line. It just became funny. Like dying in a pool of feces because I accidentally fell into a sewer, a lá Mel Brooks style.
The only thing that made sense was to laugh about it and trust that the reason for the interjecting string of bad luck (amidst some good) will later reveal itself.
And that is the reason why you were made to wait to witness my next goal of wearing a bikini with abs that you can bounce coins off of. But through all of this, I managed to maintain my weight, plot my life wheel, and plan my new year to be an absolute blast, as long as God blesses those plans.
I’m optimistic about 2013, and though I have no idea how I am going to finance my dreams yet, I will go at it like a free-spirited, cheerful and valiant horse toward 2014.
Don’t wait for a miracle, be the miracle!
This year, I will be mindful to leave the past behind, and embrace every moment like the miracle it is.
P/S: Reading this now…
Little tiny miracles just like the one that happened yesterday evening. I tapped miss grumpy stewardess on her arm, and told her how nice her makeup was — even though my initial impulse was to dismiss her as miss biatchy. She looked relieved, thanked me several times with an uncontainable crack of a smile, and that probably changed her evening.
So it has been revealed. That might have been why I needed to miss my first flight. One, to help miss grumpy feel better, and two, for me to practice making the world a better place. I did everybody behind my row a huge favor… they didn’t have to see someone pull a “life sucks” face. Plus I had 5 more hours bonding with a good friend, who is a blessing to me.
I also conquered my previously-crippling fear of flying in a small plane, the ATR 72-500 (my first).
Fitting Into the Skinniest Dress I Own
On December 31st, 2012, I finally was able to comfortably wear the skinny designer dress I bought 2 years ago in Australia.
This is my skinniest dress since 1996! I have nothing else that is tighter or smaller.
I bought it because I loved it so much, it was still in season and on ridiculous sale, even though I couldn’t zip it up for 2 years.
I told myself I’d lose weight to fit into it somehow, and that’s exactly what I did — lose 35 lbs to wear that dress.
So even though I had curve balls thrown at me, I am REALLY happy about reaching this goal.
My little tip to get your year started would be to always find the good in every stinking situation. It’s there. You just have to look for it. If it’s not there, you’re there – and you’re the good you’re looking for.
I hope you will join me in my quest to practice radical self-care and to be a miracle whenever the right opportunity presents itself.
And don’t forget how lucky you are to have eyes to read this post, which incidentally are also the organs you use to look at breathtaking sunsets and smiling babies. 🙂