It’s August. A year exactly since I lost 12 kg and weighed 73 kg. The bad news is, since January 2013 I have gone back to a fairly normal way of eating, ingesting things that I was convinced was bad for me, but nevertheless wanted to prove myself wrong the second time around.
Boy was I right the first time around. So I don’t weigh the svelt 68 kg anymore, but the good news is, I still weigh the same as I did a year ago after having lost 12kg. The miraculous part is, I have been stuffing myself like Empress Dowager for the past 7 months and been working out way too little.
It is a wonder I am not back to being the 85kg fatty. God has been full of grace and good to me.
So how do I feel about that? BAD. Very bad. I don’t mean the guilt of putting back 4kgs on since November 2012 (although there is some of that), but physically, I felt really sick being back on a diet that includes refined carbs, gluten, and msg-laden Asian food. “Unwell” would be a better word to describe how I felt back on the common diet.
I wish it weren’t true. I wish I could eat all the French pastries as long as it’s a little morsel and go back to being a foodie, and everything will be fine as long as I watched my portions. Bullpoop. The thing with refined carbs is that one bite is never enough, and you just want to eat more and more of it. I’m sure the devil was given rights to wheat.
I think if I don’t have full-on Celiac disease, at the very least I have a very visible form of gluten intolerance. The kind that a croissant a day can causes 3kgs of weight gain in a week. The kind that makes me bloated, unable to offload my bio-cargo normally, produce enough gas to power a village, and feel downright nervous, moody, anxious and just sickly.
A few days ago, I saw these long Chinese fried donuts Youtiao or Cha Kuay at a local stall, and I just had to have it. It’s crispy on the outside, and chewy on the inside, and it’s absolutely wonderful with a bit of coconut jam spread in between. What happened?
5 minutes of pleasure, 4 days of suffering!
My stomach bloated like an African child with beri-beri, and I had to do a detox on day 4 just to get it out of my system. You know what? Instant relief after I got it out.
How could I have eaten so much of something that acts like a poison to my system? Why are such delicious things so bad for me?
WHAT’S THE PLAN NOW?
Well, it’s clear I can’t take wheat products without paying for it in the form of thunder thighs, pot bellies, and mood swings. So I will go back to what made me feel really good.
A clean diet that is abundant in fresh fruits and vegetables (70% raw), with organic sources of protein. Sans-wheat and gluten-free. I’ll also step up with the exercise as I don’t feel good physically when I feel weak.
There is a renewed private goal. This time around, I know what works and doesn’t work, and I’ll share that with you as I go through my journey.
Wisdom: Believe in good things, be gentle with yourself when you mess up, get back on track, and do your best to live the life that makes you happiest. 🙂